Where's my world ?

Where's my world ? Do I need a special world or a special place to belong ?
I'm in one of those phases, that comes from nowhere and freeze my life.
I can't think, I am constantly going back in old situations. And day and night is just questions and no answers.
There is no reason for me to be like this I tell myself. But though I am there.
Nothing is fun, nothing is boring, all just is.
I get irritated at those who just ran around in life, for whom life seems so simple and easygoing.
But I also get irritated on those who many times like me can't take the day for granted and have to decide what can they manage this week and what they have to skip.
I don't fully belong in any of those worlds. I'm in between.
Some days I get jealous of those who has a fully belonging to one of the 2 worlds.
I have limits in my own eyes some days and some days not. But I never know before when those days are.
It would be so much easier if I could be like the kids who is to their mom one week and the next week to their dad.
Then you know at least what to expect. I guess that I hate to live too much in the unknown.
I love spontanity. But lately that is not easy coming.
Don't take me wrong, I'm not depressed at all. I just want MY world back.